Attenuating Anger
As a person with bipolar disease, I have had some pretty explosive angry outbursts of behavior. There was the time I smashed my husband’s picture frame. Another time I threw away delicious chocolate coated candies out of spite. Or the time I went on Facebook to blast my friends and family. I can look back now at some of that hurtful behavior and know all that anger hurt a lot of people but most of all, myself.
According to some surveys, anger has risen in the country even before our current pandemic situation. A Gallup poll conducted in 2018 found that Americans’ stress, worry, and anger intensified that particular year. And 22 percent felt anger the previous day, up from 17 percent a year earlier. In addition, the overall prevalence of inappropriate, intense, or poorly controlled anger in the U.S. population was 7.8 percent. It makes for a volatile situation if some of these people resort to violent measures.
Anger itself is a normal emotion and can be helpful or harmful depending on how it is expressed. Unaddressed anger can damage relationships, alter behavior (sometimes for the worst, see above) and cause a whole slew of other problems including depression and anxiety, even potentially criminal behavior. Chronic anger has been associated with health issues such as heart disease, headaches, skin disorders, high blood pressure, and digestive problems.
The key is to harness and manage your anger the right way. Anger does not always lead to aggression, in fact it might prevent it. You might need an anger management expert or a trained therapist if you have constant feelings of irritation, thoughts of violence against people or property, out-of-control behavior like destroying or breaking things (see above again #bipolar life), and arguments with other people that raise your frustrations, just to name a few.
Some steps that you can do on your own when you feel those feelings of rage coming on include:
1. Be assertive instead of aggressive-know your values and don’t compromise.
2. Engage in deep breathing.
3. Find a friend to talk it out.
4. Take note by logging when you feel angry-how do you react?
5. Practice perspective taking and put yourself in another person’s shoes.
6. Learn to listen.
7. Heighten the humor in the situation.
8. Look for resources like books, websites, and classes for dealing with anger constructively.
9. Recognize anger triggers-what makes you mad AF?
10. Start employing self-care through getting enough sleep, diet, exercise, and other lifestyle choices.
Also, consider eating foods high in magnesium like kidney beans, salmon, banana, nuts, and seeds. Magnesium deficiency may contribute to anxiety and irritability through reduced serotonin levels. Anger can be linked to underlying feelings of depression. So don’t be afraid to slather on that delicious cashew cheese or avocado on some toast. You can satisfy those cravings and douse those fumes that lead to anger at the same time.
I see now that I still have a lot of work to do regarding past manic episodes. I think about some of those instances to see what could have been done differently. And I am taking precautions to make sure anger is hopefully a distant memory.
